Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
