Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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