Please, let me fuck your mom
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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