I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You smell like stripper and shame
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
