So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
