elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
