Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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