im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
