To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
