when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize