He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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