but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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