Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
