So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize