my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
