called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
