I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I am naked and annoyed.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
