She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wear drunk well.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
