I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
