Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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