Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
