You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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