I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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