I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
