You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
