Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize