If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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