i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
