Your tits are I can't wait for
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
