He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
