Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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