He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
