Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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