is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
