i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
