I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize