farters have to be the big spoon...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
