Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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