how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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