Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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