You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
