so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
soo... how was my night?
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