tell your sister to shave her snatch
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
