community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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