PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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