i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
