i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
