So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
