i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
