I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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