Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
