Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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