just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
