Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
