I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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