splinters make it hard to masturbate
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
