i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
