I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
