nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize