How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
