don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
