Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm like, not good at living.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
