Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
