It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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