hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
