you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
